


True Love

by ThunderRyder



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Tony Stark, Coming Out, F/M, First Date, First Meetings, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Getting Together, M/M, Pansexual Loki, Queer Themes, Rating May Change, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Tags May Change, Tony Stark Has A Heart, minor Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27553255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderRyder/pseuds/ThunderRyder
Summary: Tony Stark is a widower, having lost his wife and son in a car accident 2 years ago. He’s left with his daughter Morgan and a fear of losing her.Loki Odinson is a divorcee, who fell too fast for his childhood sweetheart and married her right out of high school. He’s left with a fear of falling too fast for someone.When they meet up via a mutual friend of theirs, their love reaches new highs and new lows. With Morgan at the center of it all, will their love see tomorrow?
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 14
Kudos: 28





	1. Loki I

Loki closes the door behind him, kicking off his black dress shoes, which are plaguing his feet with pain.

He turns to meet his father’s disapproving gaze coming from the kitchen as he pours himself a glass of water. The yellow evening sunlight hits his aging body. His long hair and fluffy beard have been white for as long as Loki can remember. His father's eye patch felt rather creepy, especially when his only eye is on Loki. He probably thinks it’s all noble or something. 

He knows exactly why he’s glaring at him like that. His failed marriage, having to move back in with his parents for at least a month or two. The judgment, shame, and stigma from it all. It all felt like a load of bricks in his stomach. It also felt like a load of bricks on his chest, and his shoulders, and in his ankles. He doesn't know if it will go away when he moves out again. He hopes it does but hope's a four-letter word.

He tears away from his father’s gaze to stare at his feet, although he can still feel the judgment.

His mother walks towards him and pulls him into a big hug. She came up to his chin, although it still felt like yesterday when the reverse was true. There were so many things he wished he could tell his younger self, but he can’t go back, as much as he would love to. Part of him wished he could look her in the eye, but he couldn’t. He had brought shame to their house.

Loki sighs, his feet hitting the wooden floors with a slight slide to his step. He walks down the hall, turning to his childhood bedroom.

He walks over to his laptop sitting at his desk, admiring the fading sunlight, the city lighting up below. He can see his sorry reflection in the window. His melancholy emerald eyes. His long black hair he’s been growing out for a while now. His slender face, slightly worn with wrinkles with a slight hint of stubble, he should shave later. His black trench coat sits upon his fancy green button-up shirt.

He tears himself from the sight below before opening it to start looking for a new apartment. If all else fails, he can move in with his brother. Unpleasant, yes, but better than being here under the judging gaze of their father. At least Thor wouldn’t mind his queer wardrobe, that his father would burn without a second thought. He hasn’t even opened half the boxes lying around because of it.

He scrolls and takes notes for what seems like hours before he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He grabs it to see who it is.

A mutual ‘friend’ of his. He met Dr. Banner through Thor, with whom he was co-workers at work, or so he’d heard. No doubt Thor gave Bruce his number because he got a text from a random number saying it was Bruce.

Loki picks up the phone and answers with a weary hello.

“Hey,” he drawled, “is something wrong, Loki?”

“Life.”

He sighs, closing his laptop, and standing up and pacing as he talks.

Bruce and Loki catch up. They talk about everything that happened in the past couple of months. Finalizing divorces, moving back in with his parents, classic small talk.

“I know a guy who’s throwing a party. Wanna come along?”

“I’ll think about it,” Loki replies.

“The party’s tomorrow.”

“I said I’ll think about it.” Loki reiterates.

“Your loss; Tony Stark throws pretty rad parties,” Bruce says.

Tony Stark, the name sounds familiar. He’ll have to ask his mother.

“I need to look for more apartments.”

“See you later.”

Loki hangs up with a sigh, before walking to the door.

Thor barges in, almost slamming him in the face.

He had a big goofy smile on his face that annoyed Loki. For all one knows, it was because Thor was wearing a black and blue shirt with lightning bolts on it. It didn’t go well with his long bright blond hair and a short beard. It didn't bring out his bright blue eyes, or his buff figure, or his black khakis.

Loki glares at Thor with a ‘why are you here’ look plastered all over his face.

“Are you going to the party?” Thor exclaims, leaning against the doorframe.

“What party are you talking about?” Loki groans.

“The one Dr. Banner invited me to.”

“I’m not going,” he states for what feels like the millionth time today.

“I am.”

“Then I am too,” he admitted, throwing his hands in the air, not wanting Thor to hurt or embarrass himself.

“What should I bring?” Loki groans.

“A swimsuit. Banner told me the party was being held on a yacht.”

“Okay. Please get out of my room.” Loki says, pointing to the hallway behind Thor.

Thor walks out and heads to his room, closing the door behind him with a creak and a click. Loki heads back out into the hall to meet with his mother.

He turns to her. She sits on the couch in her golden t-shirt with a matching teal skirt, her blonde hair tucked into a bun. She was watching the evening news with some host interviewing someone about something.

“Do you know who Tony Stark is?” he asks.

“Tony Stark.” She paused, turning to him, with her empathetic soft blue eyes, “He’s the CEO of Stark Industries. Took over after his wife and son died in a car crash a couple of years ago.”

“That’s all I needed to know,” Loki said before turning around.

“Thor told me you were going to one of his parties. Please be careful out there.”

Loki nods, heading to his room again.


	2. Tony I

Tony lets the sunlight hit his body. The yacht rocks gently below him, as he finishes his scotch.

He was glad he invited some friends. Okay, it’s his 2 or 3 friends and whoever they invited to the party too. Bruce brought along a guy he knew from work. Tony suspected they were workout buddies. There was everyone else he knew, a few gentlemen and women from work who wanted a break from life for a couple of hours. 

There was one man who caught his attention. He didn’t look like anyone Tony had seen at work. The stranger wore green and white with black hair and green eyes. He’d have to ask Bruce more about the guy later, particularly how he got here.

But first, more scotch.

Tony stands, feeling the boat rocking a bit beneath his feet. The boat warms his feet as he slides on his sandals, which match his ruby and gold swim trunks, all paired with a black tank top. He picks his glass, walking across the large deck, down the flight of stairs on the port side. The water hitting the side of the boat grows in volume. He descends another flight of stairs, salty air filling his nostrils.

He bumps someone. He steps back, finding the handsome young man he saw earlier. He has emerald green eyes and damp black hair laying on his shoulders, framing his slender face. Judging from his appearance, he’s probably in his 30s.

“A-are you okay?” He asks the stranger, taking a couple of steps back.

“Yeah. I was getting some champagne,” He says slightly miffed. He points to the top deck with his champagne glass hand.

He wears an emerald green Hawaiian shirt with white flowers and leaf patterns on it. They're paired with a pair of greenish-black trousers paired with black barefoot sandals. His clothes cover his slender frame and glistening porcelain skin. A slender hand cradles a champagne bottle as if it would shatter if he pressed too hard on it.

“Is something wrong?” the stranger asks.

“No, I like your taste in fashion.” Tony blurts without thinking. Then again, when has he ever said something without filtering it first?

“Oh, thank you. Is this your ship?” the stranger replies, gesturing with his free hand to the side of the ship.

“Yeah.” Tony said, extending his free hand, offering to shake it, “Tony Stark, and you?”

“Loki Odinson,” Loki says, taking Tony’s hand and shaking it.

“Cool name,” Tony says, letting go of Loki’s hand.

“Thanks,” Loki said with a blush, scratching his hand behind his head.

“Want me to get you some champagne?” Tony offers.

“Sure,” Loki said emphatically.

Tony beckons Loki to follow him. Loki follows him down the deck.

They walk down a couple of flights of stairs, reaching the bottom of the ship in about a couple of minutes.

Tony opens the door to the bar and gestures Loki inwards. Loki steps inside with Tony right behind. Tony walks up to the bar, setting down his glass on the bar.

“Scotch on the rocks.” He demands.

The bartender, a well-dressed man with slicked-back blond hair, blue eyes, and a skinny build. He takes the glass from the counter. He replaces it with a new clean one. He drops a few ice cubes in, following it up with scotch. He sides it back to Tony. Tony gets up and sits at a nearby table while watching Loki.

“Champagne is fine,” Loki asks, setting his glass on the counter.

Tony enjoys watching Loki sit there. They watch the bartender grab a new glass and pop open a bottle of champagne. Loki jumps in his seat at the sound. The bartender pours him a glass before putting the bottle back. Loki takes the glass in his slender fingers. Tony wonders what else those fingers are good for. The thought makes the blood in his body rush to his dick but he bats them away when Loki walks over.

Loki stands there for a moment before asking, “Do you want to-?”

“Have sex?” Tony proposes.

Loki blushes red and darts his head in the other direction while stumbling “Oh nononono. I am terrible in bed.”

“I mean, I’m down for it if you want to,” Tony says with a shrug.

Loki pauses before saying “I was thinking about watching the New York City skyline from,” He points to the starboard deck. “There.”

“I’m down for that,” Tony says, getting up to leave.

“One sec,” Loki says, walking back to the bar and ordering a glass of water with ice. The bartender grabs a chilled glass, puts some ice and water in, and hands it to Loki. He presses the glass against his face, trying to cool himself off, as he walks back to Tony.

Tony locks his free arm with Loki’s arm. Tony drags him out to the starboard deck, complete with umbrellas, a pool, and some chatty guests. He hasn’t felt this good since he moved here about a year ago.

Thoughts come flooding back into his head, Morgan, Pepper, the crash. He shakes his head, focusing on a couple of spare chairs right next to each other. A little table with a bottle of sunscreen sitting on it sits between the chairs. He sits immediately, taking a sip of scotch, enjoying the sun from this angle.

Loki grabs the nearest umbrella, pulling it over to them until there’s shade covering most of his body.

“Why are you in the shade?” Tony asks.

“I end up with sunburns every time I try and tan,” Loki replies. He grabs a bottle of spray-on sunscreen from the table between them. He sprays the sunscreen on his legs, then puts the sunscreen back.

“Ah.” Tony comments asking “Judging from that alone, I’d call you Dracula or something.”

Loki chuckles, replying with “Please don’t. Besides, I’ve always felt more like Rudolph, you know? Never fit in with all the other reindeer.”

“Gotcha reindeer games.” Tony chuckles.

“Call me Loki, please. My brother’s the only one allowed to call me that now.” Loki demands, taking a sip of champagne.

“You have a brother?” Tony questions, taking a sip of scotch, nursing it in his hands.

“Yes, my brother came along with one of his coworkers. I know something bad happens when he’s not with me,” Loki replies, taking another sip of champagne.

“What’s it like having a brother?”

Loki stares out into the harbor, swirling the champagne in his glass. He answers with “He’s annoying but someone I can always rely on, at least more than my father.”

“Who’s your brother?”

“Thor. Blond hair, golden skin, shirtless with blue swim trunks.”

“What are you two love birds doing down there?!” someone, presumably Thor, with a loud thunderous voice shouts.

“Nothing, shut your mouth,” Loki shouts back.

“Is he your brother?” Tony asks, turning to find a man who matches Loki’s description.

“Maybe,” Loki says, setting down the champagne.

“Want to jet ski later?!” Thor shouts.

“I’m happy where I am right now. Leave me alone!” Loki shouts back again.

Thor shouts a quick “Yes, see you later,”, walking down to the bow.

“Okay, he is my brother,” Loki admits “but I’m adopted.”

“Do you like him?” Tony asks.

“I like him more than my father, I hardly know you and I like you more than my father,” Loki says with a hint of sadness.

“I presume the bar is pretty low.”

Loki nods.

There was an awkward pause between them as Loki takes another sip of champagne. Tony guzzles down the rest of his scotch.

“You’re fun to talk to.”

“Thank you,” Loki said with a blush, his eyes darting away from Tony to the other side of the boat. He looks at a couple of guests swimming in the pool together. Part of it might be the champagne speaking.

They should talk more often.

“Your phone.” Tony blurts.

“What about it?” Loki questions.

“Can I put my number in your phone?”

Loki chuckles, pulling his phone from his pocket, unlocking it, and handing it to Tony.

Tony put his phone number in, sending him a quick text saying “Testing.” handing Loki his phone back.

Tony put his hand in his pocket before pulling out his phone, typing “Wanna get coffee tomorrow?”

Loki stares at his phone, typing back. “I’ll think about it.”

They stare out into the harbor, enjoying the view from the starboard side.

Thor jumps into the pool from the top deck, splashing them both with water.


	3. Loki II

Loki opens the door to his new apartment as he carries the last box in, labeled ‘open last’. The smell of his mother’s fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, which he received as a gift, fills his nostrils. He closes the green door, which matches the color of the walls. Thor finishes moving the soft couch.

Thor flops on the couch and takes a quick breather. Sweat runs down his forehead, grazing his grey t-shirt. Thor wipes his hands on his bright blue jeans. He props his bare feet up on the little wooden coffee table, something which Loki would prefer him not to do. Thor looks exhausted from dragging everything up. Loki’s grateful for his help so he leaves Thor to rest.

Loki walks across the apartment, feeling like a giant. He's 6’2 and the furniture was at least 75% of the size of normal furniture. He opens the door to his room before tossing the box on the bed in the corner and kicks the door shut. The sounds of honking horns and chatty pedestrians fill the streets below.

Loki reaches for the boxcutter on the side table then picks it up. He brings it to the corner of the box and slices it open. He opens the box, revealing the myriad of dresses and skirts inside. He loves how they look at him. His favorite one is the simple dark green dress. It grazes his knees and the sleeves touch his elbows whenever he has a moment to wear it. He would wear these dresses around his father if he were more accepting. For now, they have to stay in the wardrobe. He’ll have to stay in the closet too, at least until he feels comfortable telling his family.

Loki grabs a coat hanger then slides the dress on it. He sets it up in his mahogany wood wardrobe which sits on the side of his room near the door. He repeats the process until all his dresses and skirts sit hung up in the wardrobe. He grabs his nail polish and remover from the bottom of the box. Then he walks to the crystal white bathroom.

He puts the nail polish into the drawers, just in case Thor decides to barge in. He grabs the white towel sitting on the counter before running it under cold water and wringing it. He dabs his face with a damp washcloth before airing out his emerald green shirt. He wipes his hands on his ink-black shorts which match his socks and tennis shoes. Maybe he should put on some makeup, later.

Knock knock.

"One sec," Loki shouts, darting from the bathroom.

He grabs the box, shoves it in the wardrobe, then slams the doors shut.

Thor opens the door, standing in the doorway, still a bit exhausted.

Loki turns to him.

"Done packing?" Thor asks, a bit of exhaustion staining his voice.

Loki nods, forcing a fake smile to his face for a few seconds. Then he quickly lets his face relax into a neutral expression.

"Are you okay?" Thor asks.

"Yeah," Loki says, placing a hand on his hip.

His stomach grumbles for no reason. When was the last time he ate? He didn't have lunch, he's only had a couple of granola bars and a cup of tea for breakfast-. That explains it.

"Are you hungry?" Thor asks.

"Yeah, any idea what we should eat?" Loki asks.

“I know a pizza place not too far from here,” Thor contemplates, pulling out his phone. “I was thinking about ordering a large pepperoni pizza."

"Make that with extra cheese," Loki adds.

"Deal."

Thor pulls out his phone and dials the closest pizza place and places the order. Loki flops on the small and comfy couch, checking his phone. Did Anthony have anything new?

A new photo of him and Morgan playing princess together. Anthony's wearing a little paper princess crown and a feathery pink boa. Morgan sits at the table with a cup of tea in her hands, pretending to sip it. It's so sweet Loki could swear his heart would implode from the cuteness. He could feel a smile tug at his face and heartstrings.

Loki texts "Awwww, that's so sweet."

"What are you looking at Loki?" Thor asks.

Loki jumps in his seat a bit. He shows the picture of Anthony and Morgan playing princess together. He scooches a bit to the side to make room for Thor.

"Aww," Thor awes, flopping down next to him.

"I need to send him something back," Loki asks.

"Can you?" Loki pulls out the camera app, pointing it at himself.

“Sure."

Loki pulls Thor in for a selfie. Loki points the camera at them, letting a small smile grace his face as Thor puts on his big goofy grin. He takes the photo and sends it to Anthony.

Anthony replies a few seconds later with 3 thumbs up emojis.

"Can I watch something?" Thor asks, grabbing the tv remote from the little wooden coffee table.

"Sure," Loki says, scrolling through his text messages.

Thor flips through channel after channel, finally settling on a baseball game. Meanwhile, Loki scrolls back through his and Anthony’s messages for at least half an hour. They’re all so sweet it makes his heart flutter and gives him warm fuzzy feelings in his stomach. Loki can’t stop thinking about Anthony. His chocolate brown eyes, his sense of fashion, his suave and responsibility and-.

Someone knocks at the door.

Loki turns to see Thor tuned out from the rest of the world so Loki stands up and walks to the door. He opens the door to see a young man wearing his pizza delivery uniform. Loki reaches into his wallet in his pocket and gives the guy 40 bucks. He takes the pizza. The guy thanks him and walks down the hall as Loki closes and locks the door.

Loki sets the pizza on the table. He gets up to grab a couple of plates and some napkins from the kitchen cupboard. He brings them back, setting them on the pizza box. They each grab a slice and start eating.

Loki lets his mind wander as he tastes the cheesy and thin goodness, thinking back to the yacht party. He wishes Anthony could grab him by the arm and drag him to the back deck and sip champagne together. He wishes they could sit in the summer sun, holding hands and smiling.

Should he talk to Thor about this? He has more experience in this department, at least good experiences. Loki sighs before tapping Thor on the shoulder.

“Thor, I need some advice,” Loki turns to Thor.

Thor mutes the tv, gesturing, “Go ahead,” with his hand as he chews on a slice of pizza.

“Remember the yacht party, the one with Anthony a couple of weeks ago?” Loki starts, putting his slice of pizza on the little coffee table in front of him.

Thor swallows his slice before saying “yes?”, gesturing for him to continue.

“I met Anthony Stark while I was there," Loki continues, leaning back into the couch like he wants to blend into it. He does not want to have this conversation, his heart raced in his chest at the thought of it. He needs to have this conversation though.

“I remember that. You yelled at me to shut up," Thor says with a chuckle. “I’m not mad, I understand."

Loki chuckles dryly. He did yell at Thor to leave him alone, didn’t he?

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it. I like Anthony more than I first thought,” Loki confesses, his greasy hands folded in his lap.

“How so?” Thor questions.

“I’ve been texting him and calling him and he’s very charming, albeit a bit up in your face half the time,” Loki says “I’m not sure if he likes me as a friend, or likes me as a lover, or friends with benefits, you know."

“You’ve been calling Anthony Edward Stark himself?!” Thor questions.

Loki turns to Thor, poking at his chest a couple of times, “Don’t act surprised I know him personally. Father owns a real-estate empire. You were able to get onto that yacht," Loki scolds.

“Fair point," Thor concedes, putting his hands in the air like he’s surrendering for a second or two. He lets them drop down to his sides.

“Anyway, I need some advice," Loki starts again, “I realize I like him as a friend, I think he likes me as a lover. At least that’s what I’m discerning from his tone when he talks to me."

“Are you gay?” Thor questions.

Loki’s heart pounded in his ears, feeling the hot blood rush to his cheeks, Should he tell him. He has to tell him. Would Thor even understand what he’s talking about? Would he come to understand? What if he’s as bigoted as their father? He’s probably as bigoted as their father. If all else fails, he can kick Thor out and never invite him back inside.

“I’m pansexual,” Loki confesses with a slight crack in his voice and a tear running down his cheek.

Thor pauses for a moment, following it up with “cool" and a pat on the shoulder.

He’ll never tell Thor he’s genderfluid.

“Wait, how do you know what that means?” Loki questions, grabbing a napkin, wiping his hands off, his heart no longer screaming in his ears.

Thor hesitates, saying “I have been reading up on the LGBT community, want to be supportive and all."

Loki nods skeptically.

“And why are you coming to me about this?” Thor follows up.

“You have experience in relationships,” Loki confesses, with a crack in his voice.

“What about you and Amora?” Thor questions “Wasn’t that a real relationship?”

“We got married at 18, divorced at 23, and it's a complicated mess,” Loki says, pressing his face into his palms, letting hot tears slide into his palms. “We weren’t right for each other. You know what went down, how father reacted to it."

Thor wraps an arm around his brother’s shoulder, the scent of sweat and pizza grease staining his shirt.

“I understand, I was like that with Sif before I met Jane. Remember?”

Loki nods, pulling Thor in for a hug and burying his wet face in his shoulder. Thor and Sif were better off as friends and, from what he could tell, still talked. He hasn’t to Amora talked in years and it’s so much better this way. He’s tried to forget half of all the fights they’ve ever had but they all blended.

“So, do you feel the same way about Stark?” Thor questions.

“I’m not sure,” Loki says pulling away from Thor.

“It doesn’t quite feel like the same kind of love I had with Amora. I can feel some passion. I’m not sure if it’s going to be stable,” Loki confesses, wiping away his tears, getting up, and grabbing the pizza box.

“Do you want to tell me more?” Thor asks.

“Do you want to listen to me whine for an hour?” Loki questions, walking to the fridge and clearing out a spot for the pizza before sliding it in.

“I mean, Jane’s pulling overtime at the office so I can hang around,” Thor says.

Loki walks back over, flopping on the couch with a deep breath, starting his monologue.

“I care about him. I think he’s a great guy. I think he’s pretty stable, all things considered, and he’s handsome. He’s someone I can see myself in a relationship with. I’ll be in the public spotlight, sure, but that’s not what I’m worried about. I don’t want Morgan, Anthony’s daughter, to suffer from this. She already lost her mom, she doesn’t need a brutal public divorce, especially at such a young age. You see where I’m coming from?”

Thor pauses, saying, “You can always separate if you’re unhappy together. Not everyone dates to get married."

“I know, I don’t want it to be like with me and Amora again. Fell at 16 too fast and everything," Loki sighs. “Too many fights."

Too much screaming, and shouting, and toxicity. The worst part was the fake smiles they put on for each other. He wished he could forget it but every so often, he has a nightmare where they’re together again. He always cries after those nightmares.

“I understand. You can always be honest and transparent with him," Thor says, getting up.

“I guess. I should text him tonight, ask him if he wants to be something more or just friends," Loki says, pulling out his phone. “I also fear I’m moving too fast. Maybe I should test the waters first."

“That’s never a bad idea. If he’s offended by questions, then that’s not a good sign," Thor walks to the door, facing Loki as he goes. “And you should also see a therapist if you truly need it."

“I guess you’re right. However, I will blame you if this doesn’t go well," Loki warns.

“Will you credit me if it goes right?” Thor questions, unlocking the bolt and opening the door.

“I’ll tell you if it goes well,” Loki says.

“Okay, see you tomorrow?” Thor asks, stepping into the doorway and nabbing a couple of cookies from the platter.

“I’m gonna be busy tomorrow, I have to put in a couple of extra hours at work and all. Next week?” Loki offers.

“Sure. Have a good night,” Thor says, waving goodbye to Loki as he closes the door.

Loki turns off the tv before he opens his phone to find a few missed phone calls from Anthony. He opens his contacts and calls back.


	4. Tony II

Tony walks into his daughter’s bright blue room. He nudges the teddy bears and mini science kits aside with his foot. He makes a mental note to make her pick up this mess after school tomorrow. He sits on the side of her fluffy blue bed, waiting for her to finish brushing her teeth.

A spit came from the bathroom. The door opens a moment later.

Morgan's long brown hair falls to her shoulders, matching her big brown eyes hazed with sleep. Her blue pajamas with little white polka dots are a bit big for her. She'll grow into it, then out of it. She looks up at Tony with a slight yawn.

“Daddy, can you tell me a bedtime story?” Morgan asks in her adorable little voice.

She walks halfway across her room to her bed, then buries herself in the fluffy sheets.

“Of course,” Tony ruffles her hair as she giggles.

“Can you read me that book on the top shelf?” Morgan asks, pointing to the top shelf.

Tony walks over to the bookshelf on the other side of the room and picks out a book. Most of them are science books for children. Most of them are about dinosaurs or scientists like Marie Curie and Carl Sagan. He searches for the book his in-laws gave him for Christmas last year. His hand fumbles along the top shelf, a shiny new book strokes his fingertips. He pulls it out and looks at the cover.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Theif.

“Want me to read you, Percy Jackson?” Tony asks.

“What’s that?” Morgan asks.

Tony flips the book over and reads the back blurb out loud. It’s about a kid who’s the son of a Greek god and his magical adventures in a place called Camp Half-blood.

Tony sits next to Morgan and opens the book.

“Chapter 1: I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher,” Tony snickers at the title of the chapter. “Look I didn’t want to be a half-blood-”

“What’s a half-blood?” Morgan interrupts.

“It probably explains it later. Just listen,” Tony comments.

Tony continues reading about Percy Jackson. Judging from the first chapter, it’s about a school field trip to a Greek and Roman museum. It's also about Mrs. Dodds, the evil math teacher, and a magic pen that turns into a sword. Soon the chapter’s over and he closes the book.

Morgan claps while cheering “yay” as Tony presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Can you read the next chapter?” Morgan asks.

Tony thought about it for a moment before saying “If you go to bed, I’ll read you the next chapter tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay. I love you, daddy,” She says with a yawn.

“I love you too sweetie,” He says, hugging her as she closes her eyes.

He lets her go, before walking to the light switch and turning off the lights. The white nightlights turn on. She insisted on them ever since the crash.

Tony gently pulls the door most of the way closed, just in case she has a nightmare. They’ve been a lot more frequent since the crash, and it’s almost always the same nightmare. Trapped in a crushed car with no way out, often with little to no oxygen. Sometimes there's an explosion, other times with evil fairies laughing. It's a toss-up. She’d run crying to him and he’d comfort her until she could go back to sleep again. Oftentimes, it took a glass of warm milk and a goodnight story to get her back to bed. Sometimes she refused to leave his side and he let her sleep with him.

He walks over to his room and keeps the door cracked open.

His dark room is clean, save for the clothes scattered about the soft black carpet. A queen-sized bed sits in the middle, pressed against the wall. It still pains his heart whenever he gets in it and lies down. He feels the pain of the empty bed. No back pressed against yours. No arms to hold you when you wake up. No kisses good morning or good night.

He shakes away the thoughts, fearing the black hole might open in his chest again.

Tony pulls out his phone, opens his contacts, and presses Loki’s number.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

No response. It’s odd but he often picks up on at least the second ring.

He tries calling again. Again, no response.

_ Perhaps he’s busy. _

He yawns. No doubt it's from such a long day playing princess and doing little science projects with Morgan. He sets his phone on the side table before he slips out of his slippers. He unbuttons his white shirt, button by button, tears it off his shoulders, then tosses it in the hamper. He unbuckles his pants and tosses them in the hamper. He repeats the process with everything but his underwear.

He walks to the closet and grabs a black tank top, sliding it on.

He tries calling Loki again. Still no answer.

He grabs his toothbrush and puts a bit of toothpaste on before brushing for about 2 minutes. Then he spits it out, the minty flavor tingling in his mouth.

A ring comes from his room.

He darts to the other side of the room.

Ring.

He fumbles to pick up the phone, answering it on the 3rd ring.

“Hey Anthony, how are you?” Loki asks.

“I’m doing okay, how are you?” Tony says, bringing it to his ear.

“I’m doing okay,” Loki says. “I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the first few times you called. I was talking to my brother and my phone was on mute.”

“Ah, that’s understandable,” Tony says, wiping the extra toothpaste off his mouth.

“Anyway, is there something you want to talk about?” Loki asks.

“Yeah, I was thinking about meeting up,” Tony saunters towards his bed then sits on the edge.

“Meeting up?” Loki asks.

“Yes, as in we get, coffee together or something,” Tony offers.

Loki paused. A chill crept up Tony’s spine while he waited. It travels down his shoulders, down his arms, towards his fingertips.

“We can but we’ll have to be early because I have to get to work by 9,” Loki says.

“I understand,” Tony says, before following it up with “Loki, are you gay?”

A bit of silence. Tony’s heart hammers in his neck and his ears burn so hotly, he’s tempted to get up and splash water on them. The silence and his heartbeat held him hostage.

Tony clears his throat, breaking the silence, and starts “You don’t have to answer tha-.”

“No, I’m pan,” Loki says.

Tony’s heart pounds in his chest.

_ At least there’s a chance. _

“That’s the second time I got asked that question today,” Loki chuckles.

Tony chuckles along, his face heating up a bit and flushing a low scarlet shade.

_ I should tell him. _

“I’m bi,” He confesses.

“You are?” Loki questions.

“Yes, I never really thought it was that important to come out publicly,” Tony says. “Always been with girls, never found the best time or place to do it.”

“When did you find out?” Loki questions

“I suspected so when I was in college but it blossomed when I started dating Pepper. I was in therapy to help sort this out and I came out to her. She took it pretty well since we were together for a couple of years by that point. She trusted me and I answered her questions. When did you find out?” Tony asks.

“By college, I knew I was pan and I told Amora, my ex-wife, and she didn’t take it well. Thought I was going to cheat on her,” Loki explains.

“Is that why you’re no longer together?” Tony asks.

“That’s part of it, but it’s not something I'm comfortable talking about right now,” Loki says, a bit of cracking in his voice.

Tony feels a bit of shame settle in his stomach. Is he ruining his chances of being together with Loki by asking these questions? Tony feels his face fade from scarlet to pink, a cold prickling at his skin.

“I’m sorry I asked,” Tony apologizes.

“I’ll tell you more when I'm more comfortable talking about it,”

“Understandable,”

“Anyway, I got done moving into my new apartment and I need some rest,” Loki yawns.

“Okay, still on for the coffee meetup?” Tony asks.

“Yes. What time do you want to meet up?”

Tony mentally sifts through his schedule. He has to drop Morgan off at school by 8 and get to work from 9-3 with a break for lunch at 12. He has a break to pick up his daughter at 3:30. Then he spends the rest of the workday at home on his laptop. He helps Morgan with homework and makes her clean up her room. Then he has dinner at 6 and he has to put Morgan to bed at 8.

“Does 8:15 in the morning work?” Tony asks.

Loki stops to think for a second, probably going through his mental schedule too.

“Yeah,” Loki answers.

“Can’t wait to see you then,” Loki says “See you soon Tony.”

“You too Loki,” Tony says, a bit of heat returning with it.

Loki hangs up.

Tony’s heart hammers in his chest, he has a chance. If Loki doesn’t like him for who he is, then that’s fine with him. He’ll just have a never-ending crush on Loki.

He lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to force his pounding heart to calm down. He took a deep breath, in and out. In and out. In, and out.

He gets back up before crawling into his soft bed, still feeling his heart pounding in his chest. There's no doubt in his mind that he has a crush on Loki. He loves Loki’s sense of fashion, the fun conversations they have. He loves the way Loki makes his heart pitter-patter whenever Tony hears his voice.

_ Does Loki like me back? _


	5. Loki III

Loki walks into the coffee shop; the coffee’s aroma kicks him awake.

He admires the shop. Yellow lighting illuminates the brick walls filled with various abstract paintings. The various couches and seats are brown and fluffy and look comfortable. A few other patrons were there getting coffee too. Their voices reverberate through the room, talking about day-to-day life. 

Loki treads forward towards the barista at the end of the shop, his boots clopping against the hard wooden floor. Another patron finishes their order before walking to their seat.

The barista pulls out a cup and asks “What can I get for you today?”

Loki orders earl grey tea and a cinnamon roll. The barista exchanges small talk and pleasantries with him. She fetches his food and enters the order. Smiling, he pays for everything, grabs his cinnamon roll, and turns to search for a nearby table.

Loki takes a seat on the sofa at the entrance. He pulls out a book from his backpack and starts reading it. A dark fantasy novel about forbidden love and a tournament. One of the side characters  **had** to interrupt their kiss. His hands flip through the pages as the plot throws him through more and more loops. Several pages pass before he pulls out his phone and checks the time. 8:20. 

A message pops up.

“Running a little late. See you in a few.”

From the corner of his vision, Anthony walks in. His brown hair’s slightly disheveled but still looking professional. Although, the look in his exhausted brown eyes and slightly overgrown beard gives it away. He's wearing a black 3 piece tuxedo with business casual written all over it.

Anthony walks up to the barista and orders something, most likely coffee or tea. He walks back, just as another barista walks up to Loki and sets his cup of tea on the long table in front of him. 

Loki turns to Anthony, as he closes his book and sets it on the table next to the cinnamon roll. 

Part of him wants to kiss him but he cringes as an unpleasant memory burrows its way out of his head. 

_ Loki was 16 going on 17 and Amora was 17 at the time. He took her out on their first date to dinner and a movie. Cliché, but he didn’t understand that relationships are more than dinner dates and kissing. By the end, he got in the driver's seat, new car, and Amora’s perfume filling his nose. He turns towards her. She mutters something about a gift for such an amazing night and pulls him in by his collar. In retrospect, he should have said no. _

Loki grabs his cup of tea and takes a sip.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late, I had to drop off my daughter at school.” Anthony apologies, dropping his backpack at his side and sitting down next to him.

“It’s cool,” Loki says, his heart racing in his chest. There’s something about Anthony’s voice that makes him blush that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“What are you reading?” Anthony asks, leaning in a bit.

Loki shows him the book cover, explaining it’s about a guy who competes in a tournament to marry a princess. Yet, he falls in love with someone else along the way.

“That sounds like a cool book,” Anthony comments. “Do you read often?”

“Yeah, I love reading, especially fantasy,” Loki says, shoving the book into his backpack.

He monologues for what feels like hours about how great books are. How they open your mind to new horizons and take you on journeys to other worlds. Be that the rolling landscape of a fantasy world or inside a character’s mind in a high stakes thriller.

“I was reading a book to my daughter last night,” Anthony says, taking a sip of his drink. Strong scents of the black coffee leak from the cup.

“What book were you reading to her?” Loki asks, taking a bite of his cinnamon roll.

“Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief,” Anthony says. “It’s about a kid named Percy Jackson and his adventures to get back Zeus’s lightning bolt and find out who done it.”

Loki swallows before saying “I heard good things about that book.”

“I’ve only read the first chapter,” Anthony says “Had to stop after that because it was bedtime.”

“Is it good so far?” Loki asks, taking another sip of his tea.

“I’d say it’s pretty good,” Anthony says “But first impressions can be misleading.”

“I know that feeling all too well Anthony,” Loki says, putting his tea down. He pulls out his phone and writes the name of the book down on his notes app.

“Can I lean my head on your shoulder?” Anthony asks with a slight yawn, grabbing his coffee, and taking a small sip.

“Sure,” Loki says.

Anthony leans his head against Loki’s shoulder. A chill ran from his shoulder straight to his heart, making it pound against his ribs.

_ I’m in love with him, aren’t I? _

“We should meet up more often,” Anthony says, pulling him in closer.

“Like a date?” Loki asks.

“Yeah.” Anthony swallows, “Do you want to go to dinner with me on Friday?”

Loki’s tea almost flies out his nose and a needle scratches in his mind.

_ Wait what?! _

“Like, a dinner date with roses and everything?” Loki stammers.

“Yeah.”

Loki was busy every day after work, except for Friday.

“I’d like that.” Loki forces himself to say casually “I'll have to text you back if something comes up.”

“I’m okay with that,” Anthony says, 

Loki nods. 

_ Should I tell him I’m genderfluid? He’s bi but maybe he’s transphobic. _

Anthony takes his head off his shoulder, turning to Loki and staring into his bright green eyes.

Loki brought his hand up to Anthony’s neck, letting his slender fingers nestle there. Anthony takes his other hand and brings it up to his lips, Anthony’s beard scratching him a bit.

Loki could feel his face turn red from the touch, his legs growing weak.

_ Will he hate me? Should I bring it up on the first date? Second date? I should tell him by the third date. Maybe he’ll have figured it out by then and I won’t need to tell him. _

Loki looks at his phone. It’s 8:30.

“I gotta get to work,” Loki says, finishing off the last bite of his cinnamon roll, and grabbing his tea.

“Okay, see you then,” Anthony says, waving goodbye before grabbing his backpack.

He darts out the door into the crisp cold air, savoring how his blood vessels constrict. He fantasizes about how their date will go. Dinner and a movie. A carriage ride in the park followed by a moonlight picnic. A walk through a fine art museum. 

It all seems too perfect.


	6. Tony III

Tony stands at Loki’s doorstep with a bouquet of red roses in one hand behind his back. His door in a fist ready to knock with the other. He’s wearing his favorite dry cleaned red and gold suit. His hair's fluffed up a bit like a bird, but not out of control, and his beard's freshly trimmed. He wants this to be perfect, and he will not skimp out on any detail.

He takes a deep breath.

_ Don’t fuck this up. _

Knock knock knock.

He takes a deep breath as the door unlocks with a beep and Loki stands on the other side.

The soft white light radiates from the apartment. Loki smells of cologne and he's dressed in black dress pants. His green button-up shirt brings out his green eyes, with a touch of black eyeliner. His black hair’s slicked back, reflecting a bit of light.

“I like your eyeliner,” Tony blurts.

Loki’s eyes go wide at the compliment, a pink rose blush spreading across his face.

“Thank you, I put a lot of effort into it,” Loki says with a chuckle.

“I can tell, it looks so smooth and crisp,” Tony says

He remembers the date nights when he and Pepper would go out. She’d spend at least 10 minutes in front of the mirror adjusting her makeup before feeling ready to go. Part of him would give everything to be with her for one more day. He wouldn’t be standing in front of Loki’s apartment door if she were still here.

“What’s that behind your back?” Loki questions, pointing to his back.

“Oh!” Tony holds out the bouquet of roses, commenting “I got these for you.”

Loki takes them, his eyes widening with awe at the flowers. “Thank you so much Anthony!” he steps inside. 

“Come on in.”

“Thank you,” Tony says as he steps inside.

The apartment is small with green walls and tiny comfortable looking furniture. A faint tint of cologne lingers in the air.

Loki opens the various wooden cupboards, his gloved hand tracing the glasses. He pulls out a vase. He fills it halfway up with water before putting the vase on the counter and putting the flowers inside.

Tony walks over to Loki.

“Do you wanna head out now?” Tony asks, taking Loki’s hand, holding it like it’s made of glass.

Loki blushes and darts his eyes away, giving out a little nod and a “That sounds ideal.”

Loki lets go of his hand to grab his phone, room key, and a few spare coins from the counter, placing them into his pocket.

Tony heads out and waits for a moment in the hall as Loki flicks off the lights, walks out, and closes the door. He locks it behind him with his key card.

They head out into the middle of the hallway, Loki presses the button to go down. They wait for about a minute before stepping onto the semi-crowded elevator. Tony takes Loki’s hand.

They walk through the lobby then head out the door, car horns and people talking filling their ears. The last of the sun’s rays dipping below the horizon. The dark sky turns navy blue. The multicolored neon lights illuminate the street and their faces.

Tony takes Loki’s hand and guides him to his car, passing by all the people on the street.

Tony opens the back car door and lets Loki inside the plush and luxurious interior. Loki steps inside, scooching over to the driver's side before Tony steps inside next to him. They buckle their seatbelts with a click before the driver steps on the pedal. The low hum of the engine fills the car.

“Where are we going?” Loki asks.

“You’ll see when we get there," Tony answers.

Loki stares at him slightly miffed.

They sat in silence, not knowing what to say, before arriving at their destination a few minutes later.

The last time he felt this nervous was when he was back in high school. He dated several times but never got into a long-term relationship. Partly because of his father’s meddling and not-so-subtle recommendations. 

"You shouldn’t marry anyone until after college," He'd say.

Loki leans past Tony admiring the restaurant with stars in his eyes.

“How did you know-” Loki tries to ask.

“I asked Thor about it,” Tony asks with a grin.

Loki gives Tony a quick glare before the driver opens the door for Tony. Tony hops out with Loki closely behind.

They walk into the restaurant. Their dress shoes click like tap shoes against the spotless white tile floor. It’s shiny and looks like a royal wedding reception with all the white and gold scattered around. A lot of patrons are there, chatting about business, day-to-day life, and other menial things.

Tony walks up to the host.

They exchange pleasantries before the host gets up and guides them to their table.

Tony’s heart thumps against his rips.

_ Am I dreaming, is this real? _

Loki squeezing his hand, reassuring him this is all real.

Loki guides Tony to their table. 

It's beautiful with plush brown chairs and a white cloth draping the table. Plates, a few forks and knives, and a couple of glasses of water rest there.

They sit down in the chairs, fit for a king.

Tony glances at the menu, trying to decide what to pick out.

His eyes dart over the menu to see Loki staring back at him. His piercing green eyes filled with a mix of admiration and attraction.

“What do you recommend to drink Loki?” Tony asks out of curiosity.

Loki takes a quick look at the menu before replying with “I would go for the champagne.”

Loki puts the menu down. Tony follows suit as they wait for a server.

They make small talk about nothing as they wait for a server to notice them.

“What can I get for you two today?” the server asks.

Tony looks at the menu before ordering the champagne along with a filet mignon and soup.

Loki follows suit, ordering champagne and lobster bisque.

The server writes their orders before asking “Is that it?”

“That’ll be it,” Tony says, turning to Loki.

Loki gives a nod.

The server nods before saying “I’ll have that right out for you," then walks away to the next table.

“I can see why this is your favorite restaurant,” Tony says the first thing that comes to mind.

Loki looks around for a moment before saying “Yeah, I came here with my family every year but it's been a while. Kind of missed this place.”

“What makes you miss this place?” Tony asks

“I stopped coming here after I got divorced. My dad kept nagging me about how I ‘should have stayed with her’ and all. He doesn’t understand that things weren’t working between us," Loki monologues before taking a sip of water.

“I’m sorry..." 

“It’s not your fault. Dad’s too old-fashioned for his good sometimes,” Loki fidgets with hands a bit, gnawing on his lip. “So… have you been here before?”

“No, first time here. I’ve been thinking about taking my inlaws here for a while but I wasn’t sure. I should take them here someday,” Tony comments.

“Do you like your in-laws?” Loki asks.

“Yeah, they’re understanding and sweet. Mind if I ask you about yours?” Tony asks.

“I haven’t talked to them and my ex-wife in years so I can’t tell you how they’re doing,” Loki says.

Tony nods and looks away from Loki down towards the table.

“Can we talk about something else?” Loki asks, scratching his cheek. 

Tony looks back up to him, but a pang of guilt washes over him. Loki gazes awkwardly into the distance.

_ You had one job. _

He can feel the tension building between them like a balloon about to burst.

“Of course,” Tony says as he places a firm hand on Loki’s, earning a stare from an older patron.

Loki sighs and stares out into space for a moment, presumably trying to think of something to say.

Tony raked through conversation topics in his head. Business, family, friends, and romance all sound interesting to him but he’s not sure if Loki would like it. Maybe he should just let Loki speak his mind.

Before Loki can say a word, a server stops by with a couple of glasses of champagne. She sets them on the table.

Tony takes a glass and takes a sip, letting the cool liquid trickle down his throat. Goosebumps prick under his clothes, but he can't tell if it's from Loki’s silence or the cold champagne.

“Do you drink anything else other than champagne?” Tony asks.

“Not really, I like wine but I don’t drink it very often. I can’t stand the taste of beer. I don’t understand how my brother can drink it," Loki responds.

Tony and Loki continue talking about what feels like nothing. Dreams, happiness, books, and other menial topics.

Soon the waitress came by with their dinner, setting it on the table.

Tony picks up his fork and knife. He cuts off a slice of the tender meat like butter and brings it to his lips, savoring the taste.

Loki takes a spoonful of bisque, no doubt he’s savoring the taste of it.

“Can I have a bite?” Tony asks, feeling his face sear immediately.

Loki nods, grabbing one of the spare spoons, and putting some bisque on it. He hands it to Tony with his hand under it to make sure none of it gets on the table. A couple of drops drop onto Loki’s gloves. Tony takes the bisque and takes a bite, savoring the taste.

“I’m gonna go clean this,” Loki says, cringing a bit at the glove. 

He gets up and heads to the bathrooms near the back.

Tony could feel a couple of awkward stares from the surrounding tables. No doubt the other patrons know they're more than friends. 

The butterflies Tony felt in his stomach flew away, finally having some time to himself. He wondered if Loki felt the same relief, or if there were any butterflies, to begin with. Tony knows there's more there than friendship. No doubt Loki realizes this too.

Loki walks back a few minutes later, sitting down and continuing to eat.

Soon, dinner is over and the server takes away the plates and Tony reaches for his credit card.

“Let me pay for this,” Loki says, pulling out his wallet.

“I insist,” Tony says.

Loki pulls out a coin.

“Heads or tails?” Loki asks.

“Tails,” Tony smirks.

Loki flips the coin. 

It comes up tails.

Tony smirks as he fiddles for his wallet in his pocket.

Loki puts his credit card back in his wallet.

He pulls it out then opens it and grabs his card before giving it to the server the credit 

card.

They wait for a few minutes, making meaningless small talk before getting the card back.

Tony slips the card back into his wallet, then slips it into his pocket before taking Loki’s hand. They earn a few awkward stares from the other patrons. It doesn’t matter, as Tony’s heart thumps in his chest.

They walk out of the restaurant and back to the car.

Tony opens the back car door and lets Loki inside. Loki steps inside before Tony steps inside next to him. They buckle their seatbelts with a click before the driver steps on the pedal.

Tony takes his hand and brings it up to Loki’s face, trying to get him to turn towards him.

Loki hesitates but turns towards him. His warm pale face flushing as red as the bouquet of roses Tony gave him earlier.

“I like you Loki,” Tony says.

“Thank you, you’re too sweet,” Loki comments back with a slight giggle.

Tony leans into Loki, his hand on his shoulder, asking “Can I kiss you?”

Loki looks a bit startled.

“I don’t feel comfortable with kissing right now,” Loki explains.

“Oh okay.” Tony drops his hands placing it back in his lap. “We don’t have to do anything you're not comfortable with,"

“Thank you for understanding Anthony,” Loki says

“Of course.”

Tony lets Loki rest his head on his shoulder, wrapping his arm around Loki.

Tony’s heart pounded in his chest, thinking about the months ahead of them. 

He should come out to his in-laws. Then he should introduce Loki to his daughter and come out publicly. Beyond that, more dates with Loki.

The drive back home takes only a few minutes, they head back through the lobby and up to Loki’s apartment.

Loki presses the key card against the door with a light beep.

“I had a wonderful night Anthony,” Loki says, opening the door.

“I had a wonderful night too, Lokes,” Tony responds.

Loki blushes a bit before asking “Can I hug you?”

“Of course,” Tony says, pulling Loki in for a hug.

Loki’s a bit on the tall side but he’s comfortable and smells faintly of cologne. He presses a kiss against Loki’s cheek.

They separate then Loki closes the door.

Tony heads toward the elevator satisfied the night went relatively well.

_ We should do this next week. _


	7. Loki IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Transphobia (includes misgendering).

The elevator opens, and Loki steps out into the crystal white hallway. She walks to the end of the hallway, adorned in her favorite black dress with matching long socks and flats. She’s somewhat relieved, knowing her mother’s the only one home, with Thor at the gym, and her father at work. She needs to talk to her mother, alone. She reaches the door almost immediately.

_ I told her I’d come today, didn’t I? _

Her eyes flick back and forth as sweat pricks at her forehead. A black choker holds her Adam's apple hostage as she tugs on it.

She forces herself to breathe. In and out, in and out, in and out. But her heart keeps thumping against her ribs.

_ How will my mother react? Is she okay with me being genderfluid? Will she still love me? What if she hates me? Will she be mad that I kept this from her for 5 years? _

Loki balls up a fist, taking another deep breath. It’s now or never.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Silence.

Fast heartbeats slow to a crawl; then footsteps fire it back into overdrive as they creep closer. Her heart thumps in her ears.

Her mother opens the door a bit, taking the deadbolt off the door before opening it.

Tears well up in Loki’s eyes, though she tries her best to blink them back. Her nose burns and itches, seeing her mother staring up at her. She hates how she towers over her mother. If only she could use magic to shrink herself whenever she wants. She darts her eyes away the second she sees her mother’s bright blue eyes.

“Loki?”

She shouldn’t have come here like this, but there was no way she could leave the house without a dress, or at least a skirt.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” her mother asks.

She pulls Loki into a warm hug, leaning into her shoulder and letting the tears flow.

_ Warning her would’ve been better. _

“Sweetie,” Her mother says, rubbing her back.

She cups Loki’s face, wiping away her tears. Loki savors the warmth as her face burns and hot tears roll down her face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Her mother asks.

Loki nods, letting her mother lead her through the crystal white polished house. They head to the front porch, overlooking the city; the cool wind nips at her hot wet face. They lean against the cool rail, neither of them say a word.

“I should have told you about the dress. I’m sorry,” Loki says after what felt like a minute.

_ I hate every single word coming out of my mouth. It’s too deep. If only I could force it higher without sounding like a dumb bird. _

Her mother nods, asking, “It’s not your fault and you have nothing to apologize for. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yeah,” Loki says, taking a deep breath and collecting her thoughts, “I should have told you earlier. I’m genderfluid. I like expressing myself through dresses and skirts. It makes me feel at home with myself sometimes.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Her mother asks.

“Yes, please use female pronouns whenever I’m in girl mode and male pronouns in boy mode.”

“I have a question,” her mother interrupts, pulling out her phone.

“Go ahead,” Loki says with a gesture.

Her mother texts something down before asking, “How will I know if you’re in girl mode or boy mode?”

_ Maybe I should text her every time it’s relevant? _

“I’ll tell you when I’m in girl mode and when I’m in boy mode,” Loki says, before continuing. “Don’t make ‘I identify as overused inanimate objects’ “jokes.” They’re transphobic because they compare trans people to inanimate objects. It also makes it seem that being transgender is a choice, which it isn't.”

“Can you repeat that? I’m trying to take notes,” her mother interrupts again.

Loki repeats what she said, talking a bit slower, pausing every few seconds, until she’s repeated her point.

“Don’t refer to my identity as a choice, because it isn’t, it’s part of who I am,” Loki continues.

She pauses, waiting for her mother to finish typing on her phone.

Her mother gestures “continue” with her hand a moment later.

“And if anyone asks me if I’ve had surgery or hormones, say it’s none of their business,” Loki says.

“Is there anything else I should know?” her mother asks after a moment.

“Please don’t tell father about this, he’d freak out,” Loki asks.

“I’ll keep my mouth shut for as long as I need to, I promise,” her mother says.

“Thank you,” Loki says “That’s it for now.”

Her mother nods.

“I’ll do my best sweetheart. If I ever screw up, please let me know. I don’t want to hurt you,” her mother says, pulling her into another hug.

“Of course. I don’t expect you to know everything. I can help but I don’t know everything either,” Loki says.

Her mother pulls away with a nod.

“What are you here for?” her mother asks with a smile.

Loki sighs slightly, before saying “I need some advice, I met this guy, and we went out on a date, and it went pretty well.”

“He must be charming to get your attention, darling. Are you falling in love again?” her mother asks.

“Yeah, although I’m trying to be much more careful this time. Trying to express my emotions, going much slower, and trying to get to know him better and all,” Loki says.

“I can see where you’re coming from on that,” her mother says.

Loki nods.

“I’m also thinking about telling Anthony about being genderfluid. I prefer to be open with him, but I don’t want him to run away from me when he finds out,” Loki says.

“If he doesn’t accept you, he’ll leave you and that’ll be the end of that. You shouldn’t have to stay with the people around you if they don’t make you happy,” her mother says.

“I don’t want to lose him because I’m genderfluid, but I don’t want to lose him because I kept this from him,” Loki says, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Maybe you should tell him the next time you two are together,” her mother says.

“I’m not sure,” Loki says.

“Isn’t being transparent with him better for your relationship?” her mother asks.

_ I don’t want to lose him because of who I am. _

“I don’t know if he’d like that part of me,” Loki says.

“Maybe you should ask?” her mother asks.

“That would raise suspicion. He’d start asking questions then I’d have to answer them and I would rather not go through that,” Loki says.

“You’re going to have to tell him eventually,” her mother says.

_ I will, won’t I? _

“Alright, but you’re going to help me plan for this,” Loki says.

“That’s understandable,” Her mother says “I can listen and help bounce ideas, even if they’re not that good.”

Her mother asks before walking towards the door. “Do you want to head back inside? It’s getting kind of cold out here and I need to get a pencil and paper.”

Loki nods.

Her mother walks to her room as Loki takes a seat in the living room.

Loki hears the door unlock with a click before hearing a bit of creaking, footsteps and a door closing. Had it already been a few hours? Did her mother forget to deadbolt the door? 

The deadbolt locking back up sent a chill down her spine.

Loki darts her eyes, looking for a place to hide. Her father would flip if he saw her like this.

Judging from the sound of his dress shoes clicking against the floor, he’s in the kitchen nearby.

Loki takes a quick peek.

Her father’s staring out a nearby window but quickly turns his gaze towards her.

She darts back, heart pounding in her chest as she presses her body more into the chair, trying to hide in it.

_ Shit. _

Her father walks towards her, judging her, staring into her soul.

“What’s going on here?” he asks.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, trying to disappear into the chair.

“Your... dress,” he asks, towering over her.

“Oh,” Loki says.

_ Please don’t make me say a word. _

“Are you doing drag?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“No,” Loki looks down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze.

“Are you like, what was her name, that athlete who had a sex change, I think she was a tennis player?” he asks.

“If you’re asking if I’m trans, I am,” she says, choking out the last part.

“You are?” he asks.

“Yeah. I'm... genderfluid,” she says, trying to sit up in her seat.

“Genderwhat?” He squints and shrugs his arms.

“Genderfluid. Most days I feel like a man, but some days I feel like a woman and I dress accordingly,” she says.

He slowly nods despondently, but his eyes still squint.

“What are you doing here?” He puts his traveling canister on the little coffee table and places a hand on his forehead, sighing.

“I’m visiting,” Loki says.

“I would prefer you not to be in my house.”

“I told you, I’m visiting,” Loki raises her voice a bit, standing up, loving and hating how she towers over him.

Her “father” points towards the door.

“I told you,” Her “father,” says a bit louder.

“What’s going on over there?” her mother asks from down the hall.

“Loki isn’t allowed to be here in that outfit,” her “father,” says, gesturing towards her outfit.

“Just let us talk,” her mother pleads. “It’s important.”

_ Please don’t give in. _

“Only if  **he** leaves once you two are done.”

An arrow might as well have pierced her heart at that moment. Her father’s aptitude as a marksman goes uncontested, even though he never so much as picked up a bow. Tears well up in her eyes. It's worse than any number of insults that he and Amora threw at each other when they were still together.

“You will call her by whatever she wants to be called,” her mother fires back, her shoes clicking against the floor, as she brandishes a notepad and a pencil.

Her “father” stares silently at her before walking back down the hall.

“I’m very sorry that happened, Loki,” her mother says, gesturing for her to lean down.

“It’s not your fault, mother,” Loki says, a pair of tears sliding down her face as she leans her head down a bit.

Her mother presses a kiss to her forehead and wipes away her tears before pulling Loki into a hug.

“I’m still sorry it happened,” Her mother says _. _

They hug for what feels like a few minutes before parting. 

“I don’t know much about coming out but I’ll do my best to help,” her mother says.

Loki nods as she slides off her flats and lies on the couch. She hates how short the couch is, and how tall she is. Her head rests against the armrest, her ankles sitting on the edge. If only she could lie in the middle without any of herself dangling over or without having to pull in her knees.

“What do you think you should do?” her mother asks, sitting next to her in a nearby chair.

“I don’t know. I know I should tell him in person. I feel like writing a letter and giving it to him at the end of our next date would feel like a cop-out. I feel that I need to be there when I tell him, you know?” Loki says.

“Maybe you should write a letter, just in case you can’t say it out loud,” Her mother says, scribbling a few notes on her notepad.

“Yeah,” Loki says, making a mental note of it.

“What’s the most important thing you should say to him?” her mother asks.

“Well, I should tell him I’m genderfluid and what that means,” Loki says, staring at the crystal white ceiling.

“How would you describe being genderfluid?”

“Well, I feel like a man most days, sometimes I don’t feel one way or the other, and some days I feel like a woman. Sometimes I feel both at the same time. Does that make sense?”

_ I hate every single word coming out of my mouth. They sound too deep to be feminine. _

“I don’t quite understand what you mean, but I can see where you’re coming from. Anything else?”

“No. I’m just worried he’s not going to accept me for who I am.”

“If he truly loves you, he’ll accept you for who you are.”

“Maybe I should say it at the end of our next date.”

“Or you could show up in a dress.”

_ Maybe I should show up in something feminine, like a skirt and a bit of makeup. _

“No doubt he’ll have questions about my choice in clothing.”

_ Maybe I should tell him in advance? _

“It’s ultimately your decision, Loki,” her mother reminds her.

“I know,” Loki replies.

“Do you want the notes?” her mother asks.

“Yeah,” Loki says.

Her mother rips the sheet of paper from her notepad and hands her the notes.

Loki stares at the bullet list of things they talked about.

“I should get going,” Loki says, getting up from the couch and slipping her shoes back on.

“Alright,” her mother says. “Can I give you a hug?”

Loki nods, letting her mother hold her.

“I will always love you, Loki.”

“I love you too, mother.”

They hug before parting.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. I will always love you and I support you,” her mother says.

“Thank you so much mother,” Loki says.

Loki walks out the door, with the notes in her hand.

She pulls out her phone and texts Thor.

_ I need you to do me a favor. _


	8. Tony IV

Tony set the bag of takeout boxes on the table with a sigh. Pulling out the top box, he peeks inside, drawn in by the mouthwatering scent. Pancakes with maple syrup.

Handing the box to Morgan, he grins as her eyes widen. He knows she'd like it, although she probably won’t finish them.

He gives his mother-in-law the box with French toast with powdered sugar. He passes his father-in-law the box with eggs benedict. 

Tony puts his box in front of him. He takes a seat next to his daughter, opening his box of steak and eggs.

They eat in silence for what feels like 5 minutes. He can feel the awkwardness hanging over them. Do his in-laws know about his new boyfriend? Will they have questions about Loki? What if they hate the idea of him going out with another-.

“How are things going?” his father-in-law asks.

_  
__I went on a date with Loki._

The thought left knots in his stomach.

“I’ve been reading Percy Jackson to Morgan,” Tony managed.

“It’s very cool,” Morgan interjects with her mouth full of pancakes.

“Don’t talk when you’re eating,” Tony says.

Morgan nods and continues chewing.

“That’s good,” his mother-in-law replies.

The conversations that follow are dry as a desert. Business plans, books, and friends at school, he’d heard it all. All the while, Tony can feel a pair of words itching at his throat, desperate to break free of their prison and claim their truth.

He glances at Morgan. Dread and worry ping pong across his mind, countless questions without an answer fuel the game going back and forth. 

_ Would she understand if I told her? Should I pick up that new children’s book about the gay rabbits and read it to her? _

“Daddy, I can’t eat anymore,” Morgan whines, pressing a hand against her stomach.

“You’re excused,” Tony says.

_ If she doesn’t understand now, then she will when she’s older. I should talk to someone about this. _

Morgan hops out of her chair before wandering out of the kitchen, presumably to her room or the living room.

_ I’ll check on her later. _

Tony lets go of the breath he’s been holding since the beginning of brunch.

“I heard you’ve been, seeing someone,” his mother-in-law says.

_ Loki. I should talk to him later. _

“Are you gay?” His father-in-law asks. 

Tony sets down his fork and lets out an exasperated sigh.

_ Here goes nothing. _

“I’m bisexual, and I’m dating another man.”

The awkward silence hangs over them like a chandelier hanging by a thread.

_ Are they okay with-. _

“Are you sure you’re not just gay?” his father-in-law asks.

“I’m certain. I’ve known this since college, but I never had the heart to go publicly,” Tony says.

“Why not?” his father-in-law asks.

“Who else knows this?” his mother-in-law asks sweetly.

“I didn’t feel like it was necessary before but now that I’m dating another man, I think I should say it. A few of my friends know but that’s it,” Tony says. 

“Why are you only coming out now?” his mother-in-law asks again.

“There are so many other famous gay and bi men out there and I didn’t think it was important to-,” Tony says.

“Are you going to shout it from the rooftops for the whole world to hear or something?” his father-in-law interrupts.

“I’ll probably just write it in an op-ed in the New York-,” Tony says.

His father-in-law slams his fist on the table and glares at him. “Your company’s going to lose-.”

“Let him speak dear, please,” his mother-in-law silences him with a wave of her hand.

Tony stands up so fast his chair clatters to the floor. His face starts burning as hot and as brightly as a fire.

Tony leans into his father-in-law’s face, “Does it matter to you that some news anchors, politicians, and businessmen are gay?! Does that affect your life in any way?” Tony yells.

“I-I, uh,” his father-in-law stutters before saying “No. Well sometimes it does but, no. But you’re still going to lose money.”

“If bigots don’t want to buy my products anymore, that’s their decision,” Tony says, picking up the chair from the floor and setting it back on its feet. “The truth is most people won’t care that I’m bi. Those who do have too much time on their hands. I’m tired of living this lie. I will come out publicly.”

Tony sits back down.

“Well, it’s your decision,” his mother-in-law says.

“I know,” Tony says, feeling the heat from his face slowly fade.

“Is there anything else you need to get off your chest?” his mother-in-law asks.

Tony shakes his head.

“Do you have any questions?” Tony asks.

“Did Pepper know?” His father-in-law asks.

“Yes and I told her not to tell anyone,” Tony says, “I regret not coming out publicly when she was alive.”

His heart is glass, trying to be glued back together, the scars still visible from when Pepper died 2 years ago. He searched desperately to find the rest of the fragments. Though this gave him some sort of closure, another piece chipped off from regret. He could feel a tear slide down his cheek. He quickly wipes it away.

He wishes she was alive, but he wouldn’t be here telling his in-laws that he’s bi and dating Loki if she was.

“And who’s this other man you’ve been seeing?” his mother-in-law asks.

“Loki Odinson,” Tony says.

“Isn’t his father a real estate developer or something?” his father-in-law asks.

“I’d have to ask,” Tony says.

His in-laws nod.

“He’s got a really good taste in books,” Tony says before talking about the fantasy book Loki was talking about at the coffee shop.

They continued talking about books and other dry topics as they took bites of food.

They finish their meal, clean the table, and toss the trash. His in-laws leave in what feels like a blink after brunch. Goodbyes are exchanged, Tony waves as his in-laws walk out the door, and everyone goes their respective ways.

_ Loki. _

He should set up his next date with Loki.

He unlocks his phone, opens his contacts, then calls Loki.

Ring, ring, ring.

“Hello?”

A giddy smile crept up on his face at hello. Heat rushes to his cheeks, and his damn heart won’t stop beating like it was in a marathon. Chills wash over his body as he forces himself to reply.

“Hey, Loki!”

They exchange pleasantries before Tony asks, “Would you like to go out on another date?”

He walks into his room, finding his quarterly planner on his nightstand.

“I would love that. I loved spending time with you and I would love to do it again.” Loki replies.

Tony picks up his planner then flips through it, frowning as he scans for a free slot between all the meetings and doing homework with Morgan. 

“Are you free next Friday?” Tony asks.

“I think so, I sometimes visit the library and check out some books but I don’t think I have anything else going on. What about you?” Loki replies.

“I’m free on Friday too,” Tony says.

An awkward silence grows between them.

_ Maybe we should-. _

“I was thinking about dinner and a movie,” Loki recommends “Since you picked and paid last time.”

“I’d like that,” Tony says.

“What movie do you want to watch?” Loki asks.

“I don’t know,” Tony says with a shrug “How about you text me in advance? I’m pretty into action stuff.”

“I have always been partial to drama, particularly in the Shakespearian department. If that is not available, we can watch something else,” Loki rambles.

“I’m cool with that,” Tony says.

“Alright, does 7 work for you?” Loki asks.

Tony flips through his schedule again.

“I think so, I’ll have to check back in with you if something comes up,” Tony says.

“Of course,” Loki says “Anything else you wish to bring up?”

“Nope,” Tony replies.

“Friday at 7?” Loki asks.

“Friday at 7,” Tony says.

“See you then.”

“See you then, love you,” Tony says as Loki hangs up.

He scribbles in “date with Loki” on Friday at 7 that week. He closes the planner before putting it back on the side table.

He heads to Morgan’s room, stuffed animals scattered on the floor.

“Morgan?”

“Yes, daddy?”

“Are you feeling better?” Tony asks, stepping over the stuffed animals.

She nods.

“Can we play science together?” She asks, getting up and walking over to the closet to grab something.

“After we clean up this mess,” Tony says, picking up Mr. Fluffy, the teddy bear, and walking him over to the toy bin.


	9. Loki V

Thor knocks at the door.

“Just a moment,” Loki yells from the other end of her apartment, putting the finishing touches on her eyeliner.

There.

Her black eyeliner and green eyeshadow bring out the color of her eyes, her makeup brings out her cheekbones with rose-pink blush grazing her cheeks. She's dressed in her favorite black dress and matching pea coat with boots with a black and green choker hiding her Adam's apple. Loki stuffs her phone and keys into her purse.

She walks to the other end of the apartment to her front door. A frown grazes her face as she reaches down to open the door. Her hand rested on the doorknob, and an uncomfortable knot knit its way around her stomach.

_ What if he reacts as “father” did? Will he still agree to go along with this? What if he doesn't? Should I just turn him away? _

“Are you done in there, brother?”

_ He's going to find out no matter what you do. _

Screw it.

“It's sister,” Loki says, gripping the doorknob tighter.

Her heart hammers in her chest.

“I'm sorry,” Thor apologizes, “Are you done in there, sister?”

_ Oh. _

“Yes,” Loki says, opening the door and letting Thor inside.

Thor steps inside, wandering around her apartment a bit.

Loki clears her throat. “So, what do you think?” She says, raising her voice as high as it would go without sounding like a dying bird.

Thor looks at her.

“You look nice,” Thor says, grabbing a glass.

“Really?” Loki asks. 

“Of course. The green brings out your eyes,” Thor says, filing the class with water

“Thank you,” Loki says “Do you think Anthony would like it?”

“I’m not Mr. Stark,” Thor comments, offering her the water.

Loki nods, accepting the glass.

_ Maybe Anthony would like it? He’s bi but still... _

“Do you have any questions?” Loki follows up.

“No, I've been reading up on this stuff. Correct me if I'm wrong but are you transgender?” Thor asks.

“Yes, I'm genderfluid,” Loki says, taking a sip.

“I've heard the term come up in my research but I couldn't find much written on it.” Thor scratches his chin.

“I'll answer all your questions later if you can help me with something,” Loki says, walking out the door and gesturing for Thor to follow.

“And what is that?” Thor asks, following her.

“I haven't led a date in such a long time. I think the last time was, I forgot,” Loki says, not wanting to remember the last time she went on a date with Amora.

Loki locks the door behind herself before slipping the keys back into her purse.

“Do you want me to wingman?” Thor asks.

“I need some advice,” Loki says as they walk to the elevator.

“What kind of advice?” Thor asks, stepping into the elevator.

“Relationship advice,” Loki says.

The elevator dings and they step out into the city streets, the neon and led lights illuminating the streets.

“What advice do you want me to give?” Thor asks.

Uncomfortable gazes pierced Loki like a dagger.

_ Do I look like I’m doing drag? Do all these strangers think I’m a man in a dress. I feel like a woman and I feel like I look like one. Do they think I’m going to do something wrong? _

“I should tell Anthony about this,” Loki says, grabbing a corner of her dress.

“What will you tell him?” Thor asks.

_ That I’m a girl sometimes? That I have feelings, emotions, and experiences you’ll never understand? That everyone who doesn’t understand me thinks I’m a freak? _

“I have no idea. You?” Loki says.

“I’m not genderfluid, my advice won’t be that helpful. I don’t have a lot of first-hand experience with coming out you know.” Thor says.

They walk in silence for a couple of minutes, not knowing what to say.

“You should get Mr. Stark a rose.” Thor recommends as they pass by a flower shop “I got them for Jane when we were together.”

“Did you break up?” Loki asks, pulling a 20 dollar bill out of her purse.

“I broke up with her,” Thor says.

_ What?! _

“Why?” Loki says, handing the bill to the shopkeeper.

“I’ll explain later, I don’t feel comfortable talking about it,” Thor says, a hint of sadness staining his words.

“Okay,” Loki notes.

_ I should press for more details next time we talk. _

Loki takes the rose from the shopkeeper.

“What advice do you have for dates?” Loki says.

“Just go with the flow Loki.”

“What does that even mean?” Loki says with a hint of confusion on her face.

“You should talk to him and stand your ground when needed but also look for a compromise when needed,” Thor suggests.

“Is that all the advice you have?” Loki says, stopping in front of the theater

“If this isn’t working out, I won’t judge you for breaking up,”

“Do you need me here?” Thor asks as they approach the theater.

Loki scouts around for another question in her mind.

“I think that’s it.”

“Alright, see you soon,” Thor says, waving goodbye.

Loki does the same.

“Loki?” A familiar voice calls a few seconds later.

She turns to face Anthony.

_ I need to tell him. _

“I should have told you this earlier,” Loki says.

“Are you into drag or something?” Anthony asks.

_ If he doesn’t accept you, he’ll leave you and that’ll be the end of that. You shouldn’t have to stay with the people around you if they don’t make you happy. _ Her mother’s words ring through her head.

“No, I’m genderfluid, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this earlier, I wanted to but I was worried-”

“I understand, you don’t need to explain yourself,” Anthony interrupts. “I never really met a genderfluid person before, much less dated one.”

“You’ve probably met someone genderfluid before but didn’t realize it,” Loki says before handing Anthony the rose. “I’ll send you as many pointers as possible but for now, just follow my lead.” 

Anthony takes the rose as they walk into the theater and look at the various movies.

“I like that one,” Anthony says, pointing to an action movie.

“I think we should go for this one,” Loki says, gesturing to a biopic.

“I heard it’s pretty good,” Anthony says.

“Do you want to watch it?”

“I’m down, next screening’s in 20 minutes,”

“Alright then,” Loki says, pulling out some cash from her purse and pays for the tickets.

They buy their food before heading to the theater.

Loki stares up at the screen, waiting for the stupid ads to stop so they can get to the movie.

Antony rests his hand next to hers. She laces their fingers together, her heart fluttering in her chest.

Loki rests her head on Anthony’s shoulder as the movie starts.

An angry man dressed in an orange devil outfit barges into a group therapy session and talks about his drug addiction.

The movie flies by, Loki and Anthony hold each other’s hands with the occasional kiss on the hand and cheek.

Soon the movie’s over and they walk out of the theater.

“It felt like a fantasy some of the time, especially with the musical bits but I thought it was pretty good,” Tony rambles.

“I don’t always enjoy happy endings but I think the movie earned it,” Loki says.

They chuckle a bit before Anthony asks “You want to head to my place?”

_ I need to get home and finish reading and I don’t feel comfortable going to his place, yet. _

“I’m good, I’m getting tired,” Loki politely declines.

Anthony pulls Loki in for a hug before pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Do you want me to drop you off at your place?” Anthony asks.

Loki nods.

Loki rides in Anthony’s car on the way home.

They head to her place and Loki steps out of the car, exchanging goodbyes, before walking to her apartment.

_ Did Anthony have a good night? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm getting burned out on this story so I'm going to take a break from it for a week or two. Hope y'all are having a good day.


End file.
